Growth

It's nearly 2am. Time that I ought be in bed, not posting over here....but here I am. *waves*

Today is a good day. Class was interesting and informative. I didn't do a whole lot this evening, and that was nice too....maybe I needed a break. I keep saying that, because I feel stressed...but wind up with far more break than 'work'. I really am going to kick in gear and tackle my 50 item to-do list later this week though, I swear.

The main reason that today was good, however, was because I have a presentation tomorrow. I can see you saying..."Wait....presentation....good?" But follow...there's logic here. I am a very timid and shy person. Many of you that know me only from online might be surprised to learn this, but it is true. I do not do well at speaking in front of people as a general rule. My voice is consistently 2 notches below an appropriate volume and I tend to get reeeeeeeally nervous when I give presentations. Tomorrow, Alison and I, have to lead class. This means talking for oh...at least an hour, and running an art experiential. I have no problems with this. Let me repeat. I have NO problems with this. I feel perfectly calm, perfectly ready and perfectly capable of doing this. I haven't written out a script. I don't have an extensive outline. Yet I have complete faith in my ability to lead the discussion, incite intelligent conversation, and ask appropriate questions. This my friends, is what we call PROGRESS.

In other news, I'm happy. Really happy. Haven't been this happy in well...a really long time. I feel like I am good at what I do and capable of being happy in this career for the rest of my life (once I find a job, that is....I hate looking for jobs...). I feel that I love this area (not this area exactly, Norfolk is meh, but Glen Burnie...and Maryland in general.) It's nice, pretty, our neighbors are friendly and I've met them. This may not seem like much, but since I left South Dakota I have never once known a single one of my neighbors. I have a dog, a pain in the ass demon spawn of a dog, but still a sweet loving dear of a thing. And most importantly, I have Jerry. I was struck over the weekend that for the first time in any of the relationships I've ever had (and there have been quite a few) I finally have someone that I view as a partner, that any problems, worries, successes we have are really going to be ours. Not mine....not his....but ours. It may sound like a little thing, or that there's not that much of a line between this and what I normally have in a relationship, but it's huge, and when I realized this on Saturday, it kind of floored me for a moment. *jots it down on the increasingly long list of reasons that I'm sure this is forever*

Hm...I should give this link to my mom sometime. She does whine about the fact that she can't use my blog to keep up on my life anymore. *adds to to-do list*